Action Roland

Dear Diary,

Today's lesson: never go souvenir shopping again. At least, not at places fronted by the Underground! A misunderstanding led to them thinking I was reporting them to the cops. The next thing I knew, I was being kidnapped by a man named Viktor, who has to have been the politest, most eloquent thug I've ever met. Why does this always happen to me?

Lucky for me, his employer was Roland, who was looking for a way to protect me from the Underground's wrath. He suggested I pose as Gwen Dale, a free agent harassed by the cops and looking to join the Underground for protection. I convinced Mr. Owney Madden to give me a chance; he sent me off to appraise a shipment of artifacts from a rough and tumble group of mercenaries… led by none other than Sterling Evans. Thank god he didn't blow my cover! …though he may have wanted to do worse after negotiations got a little tense and Viktor kneed him in his… area. At least I impressed the Underground men. Go… me?

Roland and I hatched a plan to set myself up for a fall; after all, if I were arrested for stolen property or something, I'd be useless to the Underground and they'd cut me loose. After returning from the exchange, Roland planted some Hindu figurines from Wadhwan on me to frame me as a thief. When Viktor and I went for a meal later, Roland arranged for some policemen to just 'happen by' looking for stolen property, namely some missing figurines. Everything worked out perfectly; the Underground got spooked and cut me loose because of the cops following me, I was released from jail almost immediately, and Roland's cover wasn't blown… at least, not yet. I'm still shaking over things – it was so scary! – but at least things are back to normal.

Says the girl who has at least ten perilous adventures before lunch.